Have you ever shared what you do with others and received pushback?

One of my in-laws works at a QSR. This individual seems to act like MS work is the lowest of the low. They claim their company is not shopped but did explain that receiving satisfactory on a customer survey can result in a reduction in their bonus, etc. As such, they despise any sort of customer/mystery shopper reporting on their work.

I have no interest in discussing MS with this individual but they repeatedly ask me about it and then also ask questions like, 'If someone was supposed to give you water at a hotel but they were distracted because someone came up and interrupted them and they didn't end up giving you the water bottle, would you ding them for that?" I try to explain that I just report the facts of what happened. This person is argumentative by nature so there is never a productive discussion. My plan is that I just try to change the subject.

I'm wondering if you have people like this in your life, or if you have encountered them, how do you handle it?

I used to tell some people about MS but stopped doing that because disclosing that I was a shopper had the potential of hurting me or actually hurt me financially or emotionally.

If I know a dog is aggressive and has a tendency to bite even without provocation, I don't go near that dog unless I must. I certainly don't have a juicy steak with me when I'm around that dog.

Not really an issue for me, as most of my friends are also of retirement age. One friend was a retail manager and used to read the reports!

I don't talk about it much anymore because too many people want you to spoonfeed them how to do it, how to sign up, etc.

For that type of question, I would say that I generally try to give the employees the benefit of the doubt and explain things, (they didn't give water due to being interrupted, etc), but I will mark down a facility that is trashed or not being maintained. How the company uses that info is not my choice or decision, I'm just reporting what was requested of me.

If I tell somebody what I do, I usually frame it as conducting audits. Mystery shopping has the illusion of being just that - mysterious - and usually brings on a lot of questions, but an audit? Snoozeville. Nobody wants to hear about that.

In your situation, olympia, I would simply say that I signed confidentiality agreements and can't discuss my work. If the combative in-law wants to then play the hypothetical game, I'd say the real world is complicated enough, and I'd rather concentrate on that than deal in what-ifs. Then, before they could get a word in, I'd change the subject to something they're deeply involved in with a specific question: Did your grandson win his student council election? You must be so proud of him for making an effort to become involved. Did your quilt win first prize at the county fair? I bet it must have taken you forever to finish. What ended up being wrong with your washing machine? It must have been a pain having to go to a washateria while it was down.

With some people, you have to beat 'em at their own game.

I don't care for Taylor Swift, but she's right: Haters gonna hate.

Many people do not understand the mystery shopping part of my life, and I kind of like it that way. I don't advertise what I do, so the only ones that know are (most of) my immediate family and a few friends.

For most of last year, I spent 70% of my "job" time mystery shopping and doing audits. The other 30% of my time I spent reselling online. Mystery shopping provided immediate income, which I needed, and I thought of selling online as more of a long-term strategy since I've done that on and off since 2004. I moved back home to care for my ailing mother. Part of why I went the IC route was so I could control my schedule since I do not know how her cognitive health will be from day to day. With a few exceptions, it is pretty easy to shift shops around if needed. I guess when I moved here my brother and a few other family members thought I would go get a factory job or a job at a retail store. When I didn't do that, I picked up on a shared attitude they had: I was lazy. They see themselves as hard blue collar 8am-5pm workers. When they learned I had where I slept to 11am, then started work, jealously set in. It blew up last October, but I stood my ground. Out of all the parties involved, I am the only one who spent a decade and a half working 18-hour days, sometimes more. I have worked over 50 consecutive days without a day off. None of them ever had to do that. The fact that I have a more flexible schedule or don't make as anywhere close to what I did before, doesn't matter. I'm happy and mentally I am so much better off. I told them, they can either respect me or I can leave and they can take care of my mom. They don't want that burden, so they have backed off.

Again, people just need to mind their da** business, including family.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/26/2024 08:20PM by ServiceAward.

I mostly don't tell anyone that doesn't already know. Which is mostly just my kids.

@Morledzep wrote:

I mostly don't tell anyone that doesn't already know. Which is mostly just my kids.

BELIEVE me, I wish the in-laws did not know! My better half also does some MS so that's why it tends to continue to come up. The in-laws are a difficult bunch to wrangle.

@ServiceAward wrote:

I don't care for Taylor Swift, but she's right: Haters gonna hate.

Many people do not understand the mystery shopping part of my life, and I kind of like it that way. I don't advertise what I do, so the only ones that know are (most of) my immediate family and a few friends.

For most of last year, I spent 70% of my "job" time mystery shopping and doing audits. The other 30% of my time I spent reselling online. Mystery shopping provided immediate income, which I needed, and I thought of selling online as more of a long-term strategy since I've done that on and off since 2004. I moved back home to care for my ailing mother. Part of why I went the IC route was so I could control my schedule since I do not know how her cognitive health will be from day to day. With a few exceptions, it is pretty easy to shift shops around if needed. I guess when I moved here my brother and a few other family members thought I would go get a factory job or a job at a retail store. When I didn't do that, I picked up on a shared attitude they had: I was lazy. They see themselves as hard blue collar 8am-5pm workers. When they learned I had where I slept to 11am, then started work, jealously set in. It blew up last October, but I stood my ground. Out of all the parties involved, I am the only one who spent a decade and a half working 18-hour days, sometimes more. I have worked over 50 consecutive days without a day off. None of them ever had to do that. The fact that I have a more flexible schedule or don't make as anywhere close to what I did before, doesn't matter. I'm happy and mentally I am so much better off. I told them, they can either respect me or I can leave and they can take care of my mom. They don't want that burden, so they have backed off.

Again, people just need to mind their da** business, including family.

Ooh yeah, they should buzz off!

I feel like if you are covering yourself and preparing for the future, however you make it work should not be anyone else's business or object of ridicule.

@drdoggie00 wrote:

If I tell somebody what I do, I usually frame it as conducting audits. Mystery shopping has the illusion of being just that - mysterious - and usually brings on a lot of questions, but an audit? Snoozeville. Nobody wants to hear about that.

In your situation, olympia, I would simply say that I signed confidentiality agreements and can't discuss my work. If the combative in-law wants to then play the hypothetical game, I'd say the real world is complicated enough, and I'd rather concentrate on that than deal in what-ifs. Then, before they could get a word in, I'd change the subject to something they're deeply involved in with a specific question: Did your grandson win his student council election? You must be so proud of him for making an effort to become involved. Did your quilt win first prize at the county fair? I bet it must have taken you forever to finish. What ended up being wrong with your washing machine? It must have been a pain having to go to a washateria while it was down.

With some people, you have to beat 'em at their own game.

Good ideas. Would never work with this individual, unfortunately.

What's sad is that this individual works in QSR and can not think like management or understand why management/corporate would want something like MS. It's probably why this person does not move up in jobs, sadly.

@olympia tennenbaum wrote:

The in-laws are a difficult bunch to wrangle.

Aren't they all?

No issues here.

The subject comes up with some rideshare riders every now and then, which can lead to interesting conversations. Most recent was a former exec for Coke who got screwed over by the beverage industry. Sent him my prepared screed and we'll see if he winds up doing it.

And recently shared the same info with a retiree in my industry (and a dear friend for 40+ years). He's a former writer, but I haven't heard back so I'm guessing it's not for him, even though he's looking for something to fill some time.

Luckily my GF is totally supportive of the weird-ass lifestyle I lead, and is cool with however many stops I wind up making on our roadtrip adventures.

Ran into my share in the dating process who wanted nothing to do with a gig economy dude...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/29/2024 12:41PM by CoolMusic.

@olympia tennenbaum wrote:

What's sad is that this individual works in QSR and can not think like management or understand why management/corporate would want something like MS. It's probably why this person does not move up in jobs, sadly.

It would be interesting to "shop" their restaurant on your own time, looking for all the standard timings and service-related benchmarks, and then present your findings to them. I'm guessing it wouldn't do any good and would probably be like a red flag to a bull...

I've only told my wife. It's a fairly small town where that kind of info would travel like wildfire if I let it out.

@KokoBWare wrote:

I've only told my wife. It's a fairly small town where that kind of info would travel like wildfire if I let it out.

I can't imagine in a small town!

I have never encountered a mystery shop hater. I mostly avoid telling people that i am a mystery shopper. Customs inspectors alway ask what job I have when I re-enter the USA. I got through the fastest and was asked the least amount of questions the time that I said, "Private investigator."

A few month after I met my wife, she asked what my job was. I said I was a marketing spy. She started to worry and asked me if it was dangerous.

Nobody really knows what I do for work. I guess I'd rather a stranger take my $ than somebody I know. I've heard people talk about those slimy mystery spies in conversations over the years. I just keep my mouth shut and keep collecting my $.

I’ve told some people, nobody has said anything derogatory (to my face, anyway.)

I’ve also coached a small handful of friends through video mystery shopping. It is a major investment of time, and I did it for free.

My two biggest success stories are: #1, a new immigrant friend who built confidence through daily apartment and storage shops, then after two years of MSing she went and got a job as a Fortune 500 Executive Assistant. And #2, a high school friend who was a single mother in credit card debt; she used MSing to climb out of a financial hole. #2 ended up becoming a top-earning saleswoman for David Weekley Homes. She’s won all kinds of awards and now she makes $150K++. #Winning

I usually tell new people in my life that I am either "a gig worker," which covers most of the income streams I've got, or doing "a type of market research," both of which are sufficiently vague descriptions. Rarely does anyone inquire any further. If they do want to know more about the kind of market research I do, I might say that I assess and report on how a particular business meets company standards and their customers' needs. And that seems boring enough, I suppose, that they don't want to know more about it.

However, I am always getting flak from my sister because she used to do MSing (after I turned her onto it years ago) and eventually grew to hate it. She always calls it a "losing proposition" and can't stand it when I say I've got some shops to do. I will point out to her that she used to do very different shops than I do, but she will usually respond that the time it takes to do the shop and complete the report just isn't worth it and that she doesn't want the anxiety of wondering whether a report is accepted or waiting two months to get paid. She's not totally wrong, but when I tell her that most MSCs pay more quickly now than back in the old days, she still pooh-poohs it.

There is nothing I could say that would dissuade her of her opinion. So, I don't try anymore -- but I have told her that this is what I'm doing to support myself and I would appreciate it if she keeps her negativity about it to herself. If she starts in on it again, I just tell her I'm not going to talk about it anymore. There is absolutely no reason to engage in a conversation that is uncomfortable or puts you in the position of defending yourself to naysayers. You can assert your right not to continue discussing it.

.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/30/2024 08:47PM by shopnyc.

I don't tell them what I do.

ShopNYC- I suspect your sister may be a little envious that you have figured out a system that works. I, too, have family members who have given it a shot and have given up easily. It does take a fair amount of technical expertise sometimes and I suspect that is where many folks give up. Plus, it helps if you are organized and detail-oriented. I suspect many people think that eating free food is supposed to be all they do.

I don't tell people what I do. If they become inquisitive I just say I do market research for a bunch of small businesses.

I don't tell anyone because I don't want to create competition for myself where I shop. I'd tell someone across the country or in further states from me.

Why would you care what anyone thinks ???
This topic makes no sense !!

@claabe wrote:

Why would you care what anyone thinks ???
This topic makes no sense !!

Thanks for your opinion.

If you like what you do, then anyone's opinion
does not matter ! Enjoying your work is important !
People's opinions about what you do, mean nothing !

Easy to say. Difficult to do when the "people" involved are in-laws and you are forced to interact with them.

@claabe wrote:

If you like what you do, then anyone's opinion
does not matter ! Enjoying your work is important !
People's opinions about what you do, mean nothing !

I'm good at changing the subject when I'm not interested in someone's opinions. Or I just block my brain from hearing them and just say "uhu" at intervals. Picture Young Sheldon's older brother in an episode, just apathetically saying that to an old woman he's helping lol



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/01/2024 03:30PM by prince.

It is extremely EASY ! It is your life not THEIRS !
No matter who they are ! Are you happy, doing what you do ???
That is all that matters.

@claabe wrote:

It is extremely EASY ! It is your life not THEIRS !
No matter who they are ! Are you happy, doing what you do ???
That is all that matters.

Obviously others feel differently. We're all entitled to our opinions.