Sigh... Some people judge others by how they or their friends and relatives respond to certain situations, disregarding the reality of how the same or similar situations affect others. If one can't try to put themselves in the shoes of another or at least try to see things from a different perspective, one is apt to lack understanding and remain rigidly judgemental.

I don't know whether this stems from closed-mindedness, or the old "suck it up; if I can do it, so can you" mindset. Both are unfortunate. In the case of mental illness, for example, this is why society has long ignored, or worse, stigmatized those who suffer from mental illness. And we still do. "Be a man; suck it up." "Oh, you're just sad; snap out of it." "Why can't you get up this morning?" "It's all in your head." (Well, yeah.) "There's nothing wrong with you that a rest won't cure." Blah, blah, blah. The healthcare system in this country continues to underserve this population. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in young people. Imagine a disease that causes a person to take his or her own life. Then imagine someone else demeaning such a disability or having trouble recognizing it as real. Some people with mental illnesses simply can't work, or, if they can, it is at part-time jobs or menial jobs. It takes all of the energy they have to get out of bed some mornings.

Some people with physical disabilities have good days and bad days. Some days they can barely get out of bed. Other days they can function at a nearly normal level. If you see them on a good day, don't assume they're not disabled because they're out and about, doing grocery shopping or whatever. That may exhaust them or put them in pain for the rest of the day. They may be able to work one day and not the next.

Disability lawyers are not there to cheat the system. They're there to make sure that a truly disabled person gets that which they're entitled to under the law. I'm sure there are dishonest disability attorneys, just as there are dishonest disability doctors. But I'm just as sure that these are in the minority. This isn't "The Fortune Cookie."

If a person can't work, they can't work. Of if they can just work part time, they can just work part time. Better to collect partial disability than full.

"Re: mystery shoppers- I firmly believe that, if you can plan a multi-stop shopping route and execute it, you can hold a regular job. If you can do a merchandising route, or gas stations, you can work as a cashier or in retail - and stop collecting those disability checks. If you are disabled due to physical rather than mental reasons, you should be able to sit on a jury and do your civic duty. "

You are wrong.

Even with the "reasonable accommodations" required by law, I could not work as a cashier. I had paper from the doctor saying a reasonable accommodation for me to work as a cashier would be that I be allowed to sit at least 5 minutes per hour. Cashiers at that time and place were not provided with a place to sit; we had to remain on our feet the entire shift. The boss said if she gave me 5 minutes every hour, all the employees would want 5 minutes off every hour, too. So she just refused.

I can drive 40 minutes or an hour or two, get out of my car and spend 15 minutes on an assignment; I can do that all day, because most of my time is spent sitting in my car, driving.

There is no way to equate that with 6 straight hours on my feet. My disability clearly states I am unable to walk more than 2 blocks, be on my feet for more than 20 minutes at a time, or perform any twisting, reaching, or pulling motions. I am unable to lift more than 3 pounds. I don't even carry a purse! Because I cannot. Just try to find an employer who will make "reasonable accommodations" around those restrictions.

Sure, an office job would be ideal. I have background in accounting, taxes, finance and law.

But there just are no jobs in this area for any of those.

I now have a job in retail where my lovely boss allows me to sit whenever I am not actively assisting customers. She finds things I can do while sitting, like putting price stickers on goods, or working on the computer. She even kept switching chairs for me until we found one that did not put any strain on my lower back. What a doll! Wish I had found her 20 years ago! Ooops -- 20 years ago, she wasn't even in high school yet!



A friend came by earlier in the week and put my laundry baskets in the car for me. They are still in the car, 6 days later. My back hurts so bad that I am unable to lift even one out at the laundromat. You cannot see my pain. I can easily see that some disabled people are not obviously disabled. No one knows I am, unless I tell them

Reading the last couple of posts reinforces my line of thought that there are two types of people: the ones who plead “bone spurs” and those who would go without rather than be dependent on the government for handouts.

We can see who falls into each category here.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/12/2022 06:42PM by ColoKate63.

You would prefer that I and my 2 year old daughter would be homeless over accepting "handouts"? Even though I had worked and paid into SS 28 years before becoming disabled? (Yes, I started earning taxable wages at age 15, when my mom died and I dropped out of school to go to work.)

You are 43? Yikes. From the way you describe yourself, I thought you were in your 60s-70s. I’m 15 years your senior, and embarrassed for you.

Pretty much everyone in my high school class got SS cards and started working at 14-15. My first job was cleaning motel rooms at 14. At 17 I was out and paying my own rent, like most of my peers. Nothing remarkable about that, really.

There are so many WFH consumer service jobs where you can sit on a comfy couch and answer phone calls eight hours a day. Thousands of jobs are now WFH. I volunteered with an organization that matched people with online jobs; they are plentiful. Amazon is hiring and pays $15/hour for WFH. Of course, you have to take the initiative and apply yourself. You write very well here on the forum and seem to have a good grasp of grammar and spelling; you should absolutely be able to WFH now, in 2022.

[Edit x 6 to rewrite and then eventually remove words written in frustration and to add something helpful.]

Final thoughts: I need to get out of this conversation with the Bone Spurs Battallion. It is so unhealthy and disgusting, especially since I’m simultaneously watching brave Ukrainians giving every ounce of their bodies and souls. I’m absolutely grossed out reading this here. I’m angered at what I’m reading and posting in a reactive manner, which is not helpful. And I need to spend my Saturday making up next week’s work schedule. Adios.

Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 03/12/2022 07:25PM by ColoKate63.

@ceasesmith wrote:

You would prefer that I and my 2 year old daughter would be homeless over accepting "handouts"? Even though I had worked and paid into SS 28 years before becoming disabled? (Yes, I started earning taxable wages at age 15, when my mom died and I dropped out of school to go to work.)

I am amazed when people call Social Security, Unemployment, Medicare, Food Stamps....hand outs. It's OUR tax money.

@ColoKate63:

In case you just can't stay away and sneak back in and read this, I am going to post to you.

Are you fully literate?

I read that at age 43 ceasesmith became disabled and was eligible for disability benefits because she had worked enough since age 15 to meet the requirement for quarterly earnings, or whatever the standard was at that time. Years later, ceasesmith is a few decades older and her daughter is an adult and fully launched.

There is no competition here. There are examples of a variety of life stories, none of which is exactly like any other.

I hope that your next work week will be lucrative. Mine will be typical.

My weekend work plan, which consisted of a seven-hour round trip to visit a relative, was thwarted by weather conditions that closed all roads out of town. Hubby and I had planned to visit my mother-in-law, do as much work as we could do for her, and buy as many groceries as possible for her. This was to be a labor of love. We will not be able to go next week because we are scheduled to work in town. And, no one's tax dollars were going to pay for even one cent of the cost of this gift-bearing trip.

Fortunately, you told ceasesmith and not me about the eight hour shift of sitting and talking on the phone. I would not apply for that job because I already know my sitting and communication limits. I can barely sit on my unprintable and speak with people for my longest shift-- which is a whopping five hours longs. Where did you get the idea that sitting and communicating are skills, abilities, and/or tasks that any disabled person could perform for eight hours at a time? Even my long-ago doc told me that I would always need to change positions as often as needed in order to avoid stiffness and other issues. My employer pays at least as much as Amazon does.and understands about my situation.
_____________

Having finished with ColoKate63 for the moment, I will open this question to any/all readers. What is the most disgusting thing about my paid and unpaid work?

@ColoKate63 wrote:

You are 43? Yikes. From the way you describe yourself, I thought you were in your 60s-70s. I’m 15 years your senior, and embarrassed for you.

Pretty much everyone in my high school class got SS cards and started working at 14-15. My first job was cleaning motel rooms at 14. At 17 I was out and paying my own rent, like most of my peers. Nothing remarkable about that, really.

There are so many WFH consumer service jobs where you can sit on a comfy couch and answer phone calls eight hours a day. Thousands of jobs are now WFH. I volunteered with an organization that matched people with online jobs; they are plentiful. Amazon is hiring and pays $15/hour for WFH. Of course, you have to take the initiative and apply yourself. You write very well here on the forum and seem to have a good grasp of grammar and spelling; you should absolutely be able to WFH now, in 2022.

[Edit x 6 to rewrite and then eventually remove words written in frustration and to add something helpful.]

Final thoughts: I need to get out of this conversation with the Bone Spurs Battallion. It is so unhealthy and disgusting, especially since I’m simultaneously watching brave Ukrainians giving every ounce of their bodies and souls. I’m absolutely grossed out reading this here. I’m angered at what I’m reading and posting in a reactive manner, which is not helpful. And I need to spend my Saturday making up next week’s work schedule. Adios.

So, @ColoKate63, what is *your* suggestion for how people who can't work can get by? If they can't earn an income, and you think that disability is a "handout," just what are they supposed to do? And if working part-time means they're not disabled (according to you), but they're unable to work full-time, what are they supposed to do?

As the parent of a child with disabilities, it seems to me that you are either ignorant of the reality that there are disabilities that make it impossible for people to work (unless they're people personally known to you), or you choose to ignore this fact and choose to be righteously indignant. I see what my son has gone through in his daily life, and it's heartbreaking. The litany of treatments, the ineffectiveness of some, the effectiveness of others; the specialists; navigating the medical, healthcare, and insurance systems; the days when he couldn't get out of bed; the teachers who thought he was "stupid," although his IQ is over genius level; my falling apart into the arms of the ambulance attendant after he was loaded into the ambulance a few months ago. You clearly have ZERO idea what it's like to have a disability or to be a caretaker or loved one of a person who is severely disabled. My son works, but he has limitation. He was let go from a job he loved, in violation of the ADA laws, I believe, because his boss refused to make even the slightest accommodation for him. In fact, it appears she made work harder for him so she could get rid of him. Minor accommodations would not have harmed this multi-million dollar company. This is often what the disabled face out in the world of work--both discrimination and the attitude of people who think they're not disabled if they can stand up and walk! (Yes, a bit of an exaggeration, but probably not much.)

And, yes, I see what's happening in Ukraine, and I grieve it. I've donated to the cause. I can't imagine the horror the people of Ukraine are going through. But one can be sympathetic and/or empathetic to more than one set of people at a time. You seem to lack empathy for anyone other than who *you* think is disabled.

As far as these cushy WFH jobs that you seem to think anyone can do, that anyone is qualified for, or that anyone can get hired? That's such a generalization. Some of the jobs that many disabled persons can do can't be done from home. Many of the WFH or hybrid jobs that I'm familiar with are for engineering types, marketing professionals, experienced CSRs, and so on. And, physical disabilities, such as back and leg problems, prevent people from sitting on a "comfy" couch all day long.

Regardless, that doesn't change the FACT that there are indeed people who can't work, attorneys who aren't out to cheat the system, and doctors who are not in the practice of giving false reports. Sorry you are so jaded that you, apparently, think these are in the minority and not the majority.

I'm done with trying to explain this to you. But I live this with my son every day, and your disgust and indignation is appalling.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2022 08:51PM by BirdyC.

Right. I became disabled at 43. I am now 75. My daughter is 34.

I have applied for WFH positions. I don't have the equipment or skills required. For example, my computer doesn't have built in speakers or camera, so no ZOOM possible.

And I don't know any thing about bone spurs; never had 'em, never claimed to have them, don't know anyone who does have them.

However, if you would be kind enough to send me a list of organizations that line people up for WFH/online jobs, I will happily apply there.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2022 03:00AM by ceasesmith.

I do not suggest that anyone besides me should ever be willing to make a stand and go without earned benefits than be dependent on the government for handouts. The last handout I received was... lemme see... sometime back in the last century. When did computers replace paper handouts, such as syllabi and lessons? That was a long time ago.

You might want to rephrase your remark about going without and specify what, exactly, people are lacking. Every day, I am going without what I used to be able to do and am without consistent, lucrative replacements for that. This is the essence of disability. Beyond that, I got literally and figuratively tired of being reported and forced to respond to every damned and accursed false report. It would be lovely to receive some compensation for this daily high cost of living with disability that is now my world. I had worked enough to qualify for benefits. The fed knows that I am still disabled. They do not seem to know how to stop forcing me to respond to false complaints or spurious reports. Unless and until the fed figures out how many reports are sufficient to torture a disabled person, they will inflict additional limitations endlessly via mandatory responses to every report. This is wicked, absurd, and unnecessary. Who does that?! [I suggest that instead of the damned and accursed report system, there could be periodic mandatory employment conversations that begin with one's own health care provider unless a person is participating in a designated employment program. This would not add any visits or activities beyond what a disabled already does. For example, there could be an employment conversation every few years as part of an expanded annual exam. Providers and many disabled persons themselves will know if this is often enough, too often, or unnecessary. Primary care providers know how to refer to other professionals, if that is warranted to evaluate or support employment concepts. Some clever soul would finalize the specifics and thereby liberate disabled persons from unnecessary outside influences which add to disability while detracting from ability or accomplishment in various aspects of life.]

As you consider what we are telling you about life with disability, is any part of your thought process or visceral response shifting or softening? After all, each person lives with their disability in their own way, which might not seem like anything that you had associated with disability. There is no shame in not knowing first hand what a disability is like. There is only a need to let go of a personal belief about what every disability "should" be like, as this is defined by a person who states here that they work for money and does not self-describe here as being disabled. No disabled person is obliged to match your preconceived notion of what disability ought to look like, and it is extremely unlikely that anyone ever will match your view. But there is hope.

We all might consider that anyone could be or become hindered or disabled at any time. It could happen to you, ColoKate63. What if it happened to you? Would you welcome false reports and mandatory responses? Would you willing to spend time, energy, and money to prove again and again and again and endlessly to some anonymous reporter that you are disabled? Or, would you rather be left to live your life as best you can? Please be assured that I would not hassle you or report you (if I knew you). You would always be free of me as a noisome pestilence in your disabled world, which would present enough challenges to you. Apparently, you already have some challenges, as shown in your statements and reinforced statements here.

Who would actually want to throw a stumbling block, such as a spurious report, in anyone's path? We are all doing what we can on our individual journeys. What purpose does it serve to hinder another person?

is any of the information seeping into the dark places?

@ColoKate63 wrote:

Reading the last couple of posts reinforces my line of thought that there are two types of people: the ones who plead “bone spurs” and those who would go without rather than be dependent on the government for handouts.

We can see who falls into each category here.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2022 01:58PM by Shop-et-al.